In a world as harsh as the one we live in, people will always try to take advantage of you. You owe it to yourself to protect yourself.
Being in a relationship—whether romantic, platonic, or professional—should be a source of mutual respect, care, and support. However, some people enter your life with self-serving intentions, seeking to benefit from your kindness, resources, or skills without genuinely valuing you. Recognising when someone is taking advantage of you is crucial for maintaining your emotional well-being and self-respect.
Here are seven detailed signs that someone might be using you, along with advice on how to address it.
- They Only Contact You When They Need Something
One of the clearest signs of being used is when someone only reaches out when they want something. Whether it’s borrowing money, asking for favours, or seeking advice, these interactions often feel transactional. If you notice they’re unavailable or uninterested when you reach out, it could be a red flag.
What to do: Take note of their communication patterns. If it’s always about their needs, start setting boundaries and limiting your availability.
- They Show Little Interest in Your Life
Healthy relationships involve mutual care and curiosity. If someone rarely asks about your feelings, achievements, or challenges, it could mean they are more focused on what you can offer than who you are as a person. Conversations with such individuals tend to revolve around them and their interests.
What to do: Try steering the conversation to your own experiences. If they quickly lose interest or shift the focus back to themselves, it’s a strong indicator they may not genuinely care.
- You’re Constantly Giving Without Receiving
Relationships should have a sense of balance, where both parties contribute equally in their own way. If you find yourself always giving—whether it’s emotional support, time, money, or resources—without anything in return, it suggests the relationship is one-sided.
What to do: Reflect on whether the relationship enriches your life. If not, consider stepping back and prioritising relationships where mutual respect exists.
- They Use Flattery or Guilt to Get Their Way
Some people use excessive compliments or flattery to lower your defences and make you more likely to agree to their requests. Others might resort to guilt-tripping, saying things like, “If you cared about me, you’d do this.”
What to do: Be mindful of these tactics. Learn to say “no” firmly without feeling the need to justify your decision. Genuine relationships don’t rely on manipulation.
- They Disappear When You Need Them
Those who use you are often unreliable when you’re the one in need. Whether it’s emotional support during tough times or practical help, they’re nowhere to be found. Their absence is a stark contrast to how readily they expect your assistance.
What to do: Test the relationship by asking for their support. If they consistently fail to show up, it may be time to reassess their role in your life.
- They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries
When someone is using you, they may ignore or push past your boundaries. They might frequently ask for more than you’re willing to give or make you feel guilty for saying “no.”
What to do: Clearly articulate your boundaries and stick to them. People who respect you will honour your limits; those who don’t are likely taking advantage.
- You Feel Drained or Unappreciated
Relationships should leave you feeling energised and valued. If you constantly feel emotionally or physically drained after interacting with someone, or if your efforts are never acknowledged, it’s a clear sign they’re taking more than they give.
What to do: Assess how the relationship affects you. If it consistently leaves you feeling worse, consider stepping away to focus on more positive connections.
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